“If I loved myself truly and deeply,
would I let myself experience this?”
~ Kamal Ravikant
One of the greatest struggles in life is the struggle to fully accept, embrace and love ourselves, YES even with all of our imperfections. To look ourselves in the mirror and be 100% honest about who we are, how we feel and what we need. To stop beating ourselves up for everything we aren’t, and start recognizing and appreciating ourselves for everything we are. And to be aware that not everyone we love will agree with us every step of the way, and to be OK with it.
We have to learn how to find our voices, find ourselves, how to love ourselves even when we are alone and learn to recognize when we’ve fallen into the trap of being our own worst enemy.
Once we get past all the busyness–the act of making ourselves busy–and stop distracting ourselves with shiny objects and social media and wanting everyone to like us, we start creating room to really be aware about the things we don’t want to feel. More often than not, if we don’t want to feel something, it means there is something important going on within us that needs to be acknowledged.
When we shed the distractions and start “feeling the feels,” we begin to break down the walls we’ve built around ourselves. Walls that were put up to protect ourselves, but these walls have become barriers that have blocked others and they also make it hard for us to have compassion for ourselves. When we let ourselves be authentic and vulnerable, we allow ourselves to enjoy a meaningful life.
Bravery is a choice, not a feeling.
– Jona Acuff
When we have the courage to push through these walls – to know and embrace ourselves, despite our flaws, and our past mistakes, our humanness, – we also open the door to connecting in more caring, empathic and intimate ways with others who are truly worth loving. We become open to being vulnerable and letting others see us for who we are.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear,
but the triumph over it.”
– Nelson Mandela
Which is why it’s time for the following guidelines for you to follow to begin the journey of self-love and taking your life back….
1. Start Loving Yourself Like Your Life Depended On It – If there’s anything that will drastically change your life is self acceptance and fully loving yourself. Love everything about YOU, the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s important that you know how spectacular you are.
“This day, I vow to myself to love myself,
to treat myself as someone I love truly and deeply
– in my thoughts, my actions, the choices I make,
the experiences I have, each moment I am conscious,
I make the decision I LOVE MYSELF.”
― Kamal Ravikant,
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It
2. Let Go of Comparing Yourself to Others – there is an endless number of categories upon which we can compare ourselves and an almost infinite number of people to compare ourselves to. Once you start down this road, you will never find an end. People achieve success and fail–and succeed again–at different rates. Accept that and move on. Give up on being perfect and begin the journey of becoming your true self. The most beautiful part of this journey is simply returning to the peaceful feeling of being. This peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.
“…sometimes you are ahead, and sometimes you are behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.”
Baz Luhrman, Wear Sunscreen
3. Let go of seeking others approval and trying to get everyone to like you – Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. And you don’t have to do big grand gestures in order to have an extraordinary life. And you don’t need anybody’s permission to do it differently either. Your time on this planet is precious. As the saying goes, “What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” Don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to live. Let go of wanting everyone to like you, especially people who may never understand your voice. Trying to make everyone like you is the quickest way to resent yourself and find yourself doing things you don’t care about.
You will never be able to please everyone. Not everyone will like you. You probably won’t like everyone you meet. And that is perfectly fine. But realize that “hate” takes a lot of energy. Instead of spending your time and energy hating something, just voraciously love its counterpart. Fill the world with love and light. Love yourself. Enjoy the life you have been given, and embrace each day with open arms as the best version of you.
“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be,
rather than being yourself.”
― Shannon L. Alder
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