“Confidence is a practice and a skill. It’s not about being an extrovert and it’s certainly not a personality trait. Everyone has the ability to be confident in any given situation with the right mindset and practice.”
One of the biggest struggles women face is the ability to be truly confident. This is largely due to the amount of misinformation out there pertaining to the subject. Some are taught that they have to be the overly aggressive girl who sits with the boys, loves ESPN, has a foul mouth and doesn’t mind being called a bitch. Some are taught that they have to be the “party girl” who is loud and always pushing to have a presence in the room. This could not be far from the truth and unfortunately put women in the position to put so much energy into projecting a confident image instead of just being their natural confident selves. That’s what I want us to focus on here – natural, easy ways to exude confidence without trying on a persona that was never meant to fit anyway.
- Smile (naturally)
Smiling is easy. The important part is to smile naturally. Forget about that fake smile we’ve all used when nervous or in uncomfortable situations. That doesn’t work and takes away from your confidence. Throw that away! If you’re having a good day – smile. If you’re in a good mood or see a good looking guy walking by – smile. Smiling feels good and automatically makes the worst day seem better. It is welcoming and allowing people to see you as the confident, approachable, attractive person that you are.
2. Support your sisters
Confidence isn’t afraid to congratulate another woman on a job well done. It doesn’t look for ways to take away from another woman’s success. Confidence isn’t afraid to support. It accepts the invitation, attends the event, purchases the book and cheers the other person on. Trying to cut someone down out of jealousy is something that insecurity does. Be effortlessly confident by simply showing love to those who are doing well.
3. Stand up for yourself
Confidence cares about itself and demands the respect it knows it deserves. Do the same for yourself. Don’t let someone tell you to “calm down” or “relax” when you know you’re being mistreated. Remember that you teach people how to treat you. If there is something going on that you don’t like – say so. People aren’t mind readers. Practice speaking up!
4. Forget the past (It’s not like you can change it)
The past can be one of the things that can prevent you from being your effortlessly confident self – if you let it. Don’t be so focused on trying to make up for the past you neglect building your future. Doing that is a huge waste of time and lowers your confidence more and more. Forget the past! You can’t change it and your life isn’t going in that direction. Push forward! Instead of trying to erase the past, put so much energy into moving on and doing better in your present and future that you forget all about it. Chances are everybody else already has.
5. Make the tough decision
Confidence doesn’t allow what other people think to stop it from doing its job. As you grow in your life and in your career, you are going to have to be confident in your ability to make tough decisions. It won’t be easy – it’s not supposed to be, but it will be worth it. You don’t have to be super aggressive about it either. You can simply and confidently say what needs to be said. Then the important part – don’t backtrack. Stick to your guns. This will encourage respect from those watching and result in increased confidence levels inside of you.
6. Don’t hide from the spotlight
Instead of hiding, learn to handle it with poise. Practice it like any other skill. When those nerves and feelings of intimidation and fear rear their ugly heads, put them back in their place! Say to yourself that this is ok; you can handle this and shift your focus to getting the job done – whatever it is you’re asked to do – do it to the best of your ability. Don’t hide from the spotlight, conquer it and you will automatically exude confidence.
These are all effortless things that instantly build confidence. No need to put on the party girl costume or try to be one of the boys. Being yourself will work. Forget about acting confident altogether and just BE.
Pamela Shand is a Career Coach, Certified Professional Resume Writer and CEO of Offer Stage Consulting, LLC. Follow her on social media for tips, tricks, deals and motivation to keep you going. Welcome to the Offer Stage!